new year, new blog (:

http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
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i'm on to bigger and better things mama.

moved.

http://formyransom.wordpress.com/

Mike copies me xD

He does. Whenever I post, he posts because I post xP He also tends to have revelations whenever I do but whatever, his life. Nothing really to write about, and I probably won't write in this as much but Mike will! Or his blog said he will, but lets see if he will when I stop. 0-0 <3

I hope he does. :3 <3

The silence.

I highly recommend you watch this -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzpF2aCZN-8&feature=related before you read what I have to say. Let me start off this post saying, I know I haven't posted in like... a month. Sorry about that, and no I didn't stop reading, I just didn't have the time for this blog. Lame excuse I know, but it's not like anyone reads this anyway so.. whatever! On with it. So lately I've been sleeping early and not reading my bible. It has had an impact on me but for a long time there I thought I was doing the right thing for me. Going to sleep early so I can wake up not tired tomorrow morning so I can do school without being horribly tired, so I can get good grades, and so I can get into college. I truly believed that God would understand that that's why I wasn't paying attention to his word.

Those nights where I could hear God nagging me to pick up the teal bible over my head and I dug my head into the cold pillow pretending to be the tiredest human being on the world. Who was I fooling? I felt like the little kid, who would close their eyes when their dad come into their room, pretending to sleep. The kid that is smiling as they feel their father's stare on their 'sleeping' bodies, unable to hide the amusement they are feeling for having 'tricked' their father. And the father who is staring at their child, eyes full of amusement and love at their beautiful giggling child who is doing a horrible job at pretending.

But tonight, I made it a point to spend at least 10 minutes with God. Turned into two hours, and I couldn't be more happy about that. Something in my gut was telling me to just spend five minutes of quiet time with God. Five minutes of absolute silence. So that's what I did. Best 7 minutes of my life. Yes I said seven. I closed my eyes and could hear the car driving by outside. No music. No tv. Nothing. And I sat and waited for God to speak to me. Next thing I know I'm hysterically crying, whispering I love you too I love you too and I literally felt like someone was hugging me. When I opened my eyes, it was seven minutes later and I was breathless.

I had another 'gut' feeling to just randomly open up the bible. This is what I open up to.
1 A Call To Return To The LORD.
In November* of the second year of King Darius's reign, the LORD gave this message to the prophet Zechariah son of Berekiah and grandson of Iddo:
"I the LORD was very angry with your ancestors. Therefore I say to the people, 'This is what the LORD of Heaven's Armies says: Return to me and I will return to you, says the LORD of Heaven's Armies.' Don't be like your ancestors who will not listen or pay attention when the earlier prophet said to them,'This is what the LORD of Heaven's Armies says: Turn from your evil ways, and stop all of your evil practices.' Where are your ancestors now? They and the prophets are long dead. But everything I said through my servants the prophets happened to your ancestors, just as I said. As a result, they repented and said 'We have received what we deserved from the LORD of Heaven's Armies. He has done what he said he would do.'" Zechariah 1;1-7
*God has a sense of humor doesn't he? xD

In the silence and in this scripture this is what God was telling me. "Karina, I love you. Your past evils that you have committed, don't you see that they mean nothing to me anymore? Don't you see that I love you? Please, return to me, and I will return to you. This distance you feel between us isn't because you are busy, it is because you don't want to spend time with me. Turn from your ways, they can't give you what I can, they will only lead you to your death. Return to me and live."

If God is begging for your time, please, give it to him. He only asked me for 5 minutes and it was life changing. Take time from your day and sit with him, I promise that you won't regret it.

Day 9 - God Centered

So today's lesson is about being God centered or being self centered. No surprise when I found myself to be self centered. God has a sense of humor, honestly. This morning I was pouting and I was really upset because I didn't look the way I wanted to. I 'never' really look the way I want to, I know I shouldn't but I have this problem with hating myself. Yeah, I have really bad self image and self loathing issues. They are gradually getting better but it's a work in progress. There is a fine line between vanity and self loathing. This lesson really made that statement true. There is either self-centered, or God-centered, there is no in between. Obviously the whole working for the world thing hasn't made me happier, a self-centered life leads to what? This? What I already have? Does it lead to this mindset that I am nothing and I am worth nothing? Because I've been self-centered my whole life and it hasn't made anything better. God-centered people like Noah, and Abraham they were genuinely happy and obedient. I don't want to be an Eve.

Day 8 - Servants 2

This two part lesson was all about Servant hood. I don't have much time to write so I will just say what I got from it overall. If I'm obedient and willing, God will work through me. And that really should be my highest goal. If ordinary people of the bible could do it, why can't I? I want to be God's servant.

Day 7 - Fellowship

Fellowship is such a wonderful thing, I would be writing about my forth lesson today but it's a two part sermon type lesson so I'll write about that tomorrow. Okay so LifeGroup today was amazing, as expected. My two LifeGroup leaders are Rachelle and Mark A yala, what do you expect? I love them both so much, they are great role models and leaders. Lindsey is another semi leader I guess I could call it, she is such a cute girl... woman...? I don't know they're all still young to me D: too young to be called women or men d: But anyway, I'm so glad that I finally have a fellowship. A real true fellowship that I can depend on. In eighth grade I felt so lonely because Imari was the only one I felt like I could talk to and the only christian friend I had. I'm still SUPER greatful for Imari, but the fact that I have so many more people to talk to God about, people that I can trust and understand, is just one of the greatest feeling in the world. I'm so lucky to have them all, I'm also very glad they find me amusing and not scary d: Thank God.

Day 6 - Progress

I have decided to hold back one day so I could be on the same page as everyone else. But this workshop is already helping, it's weird and a slight difference really but I'm starting to be more sympathetic toward people that usually I would have been mean to. I'm starting to feel bad for the people who once annoyed the crap out of me. Instead of being like >:O when they're around I feel bad that they have to act that way to get attention, that they crave attention so badly that they have to do stupid things. They need it so badly... that they don't care if it's good attention or bad attention. And I also think, how am I any better? I'm not, I just don't crave that much attention, that's really our only difference. A little progress is still something right?

Day 5 - Servant

Oh today's lesson (: Today what I took out of this lesson is that I need to be God's servant. And not in the human definition. God's servant. Someone who God works through. I really don't have much to write about today because honestly it would be repeating a lot of what I have already written. I do want to talk about God and the whole potter's hands story. That story always makes me smile and it always makes me think. I want to be molded into what God wants me to be. I always got that part of the story, but for some reason I always forget the most important part of it. The part that I need to remain in God's hands. Without God's hands..I can do absolutely nothing. What can a guitar do with no one playing? Collect dust. What can a cup do when no one is drinking from it. Nothing. What can I do without God using me? Nothing. I am nothing but his instrument, and I am proud of that. But I refuse to collect dust anymore. I want God to use me, and I intend to make that happen. Some one very wise once brought up a very interesting comparison. Most aggressive, misbehaving, and disobedient dogs are very unhappy. Wanna know why? Because they have no master. They have no one to serve. As Human beings we let our pride get the best of us, and I've seen so many people go on being unhappy just because they don't want to serve anyone. I am here to say that I am done being unhappy, ever since I've turned into a servant of God... I've never been happier.

Day 4 - A follower of the good

Sorry, couldn't really write much today, but the lesson that I put to use from day 2 of my lessons is Don't question God, Or try to change him. Because God even said, "I the Lord do not change." so I must change for him. God isn't going to change for my liking, God is God. That's it. If I want to be in God's will and I want to truly follow him I must ask God, "What is your will?" So I can change my life, according to God's plan, that has been set from the beginning of time. Who am I to ask God to change? And I can't think that God just isn't working in me right now because God is always working. All the time.

Day 3 - Step by Step

Alright well to be honest I read 'Lesson 1' this morning. The morning of October 3rd. The lesson of today, well the lesson that I took out of it is Jesus is the way. Let me explain because this is a well known phrase and 'way of life' , but it is very misunderstood. When some one says Jesus is the way, do they really know what they're saying? I didn't even really realize the difference between these two prayers. Let's see if you can. 1. Jesus please tell me which way you want me to go, so I am in your will. or 2. Jesus be with me today telling me what you want me to do and where you want me to go step by step, and I will do as you say. // See the difference? I used to pray the first prayer thinking nothing of it, but now I realize that the second prayer would be more useful. The second prayer actually makes more sense. To me at least. This lesson made me think, Jesus said HE is the way, not that he would SHOW you the way. He IS the way, so asking him to BE with you and tell you what to do as you get there is making him the way instead of him telling you giving you the directions and having you misinterpret them some how. When you ask God to BE with you and you do things the second he tells you to, no questions asked... you are always in God's will. You are in the CENTER of God's will. Always. Yeah it's easier said than done, but God says if you pray, you will be answered, so my prayer will be the second one up there so I can always be in God's will. Sorry that my thoughts are scrambled, I'm just that type of girl d:

Day 2 - Filler?

So, yesterday my dad came into my room and gave me my book (: I've never been so excited for a work book in my life. I automatically ran for it and wanted to read and begin it, but, I'm just going to read and work on it tonight so I have something to write about and work on tomorrow. Today my little project is to compliment everyone that makes me angry as they walk by. I'm trying my hardest not to say anything about the way people dress or the way they talk and stuff because who am I to look at them that way? You know? And if I'm trying to get closer to God... I have to start loving the things that he has created. Because if I can't love the stuff he made... how can I love him? That's like loving a band but hating the music they create o-o so... yeah. Hopefully I'll be able to check in later when I get home to see how this whole project went. Oh yeah.. and I have to stop lurking people D: that is a serious problem I have. This weekend is going to be busy, so I hope I can keep up with this. )':

edit: So today was good, every time I saw someone that pissed me off I complimented them and it actually helped me like them and see them more as human beings and not just people that annoy me. Thank God, because I could not tell you how many times I see someone badly dressed or just really loud for no reason and I'm like "GRAWR YOU RAWRRAWRAWR >:O" it just makes me mad and upset and why should I feel like that when they don't care? Answer? I shouldn't, and I'm going to keep this up, well at least try to keep it up. I have to be honest, I did lash out on this Christian (that's his name) kid today, I kinda feel bad because the kid is just trying to fit in and be accepted but he's going about it the wrong and abnoxious way. That's what I have to do, I have to look at maybe why a person acts the way they do and realize it's nothing personal, that's just the way God made them. They have prblems too, and if you give them a chance they are more than they appear on the outside. I just have to remember that.

Day 1 - Intro.

Okay, so today is october 1st, and today is my first blog post. This blog is about my life, obviously. But it isn't really a "oh hay this is how my day was." Type of Blog, this blog is about how I want to see how I grow up, how I change each day. My pictures aren't going to be that great since I don't really have a camera of my own yet, but pictures aren't the point here. In my lifegroups at church we're going to be reading and studying this book called Experiencing God. I'm para-phrasing because I don'ty have the book in front of me but it's something along those lines. For the winter semester of the life groups I will be writing this blog to see how I progress, I'll kind of be my own, very critical, very harsh, accountability buddy. Well my blog certainly will be. I'm really writing this blog from me, if you clicked the link that I posted and your still reading up to this point, hi (: Yes, readers would be cool, but I really could care less if no one read this at all. This is about my progress, my life, and how I grow. My dog has nothing to do with this but it was the only nice picture I could find to be completley honest, and I don't want to use like word things. Not that there is anything wrong with those, just I want to use pictures that match the way my day was, or a picture that was a memory of my day. This blog, my blog, is about change so I'm just gonna throw the word sorry out there for anyone that I've hurt. It's out there, so it's off my shoulders.