new year, new blog (:

http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/
http://formyransom.wordpress.com/


i'm on to bigger and better things mama.

moved.

http://formyransom.wordpress.com/

Mike copies me xD

He does. Whenever I post, he posts because I post xP He also tends to have revelations whenever I do but whatever, his life. Nothing really to write about, and I probably won't write in this as much but Mike will! Or his blog said he will, but lets see if he will when I stop. 0-0 <3

I hope he does. :3 <3

The silence.

I highly recommend you watch this -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzpF2aCZN-8&feature=related before you read what I have to say. Let me start off this post saying, I know I haven't posted in like... a month. Sorry about that, and no I didn't stop reading, I just didn't have the time for this blog. Lame excuse I know, but it's not like anyone reads this anyway so.. whatever! On with it. So lately I've been sleeping early and not reading my bible. It has had an impact on me but for a long time there I thought I was doing the right thing for me. Going to sleep early so I can wake up not tired tomorrow morning so I can do school without being horribly tired, so I can get good grades, and so I can get into college. I truly believed that God would understand that that's why I wasn't paying attention to his word.

Those nights where I could hear God nagging me to pick up the teal bible over my head and I dug my head into the cold pillow pretending to be the tiredest human being on the world. Who was I fooling? I felt like the little kid, who would close their eyes when their dad come into their room, pretending to sleep. The kid that is smiling as they feel their father's stare on their 'sleeping' bodies, unable to hide the amusement they are feeling for having 'tricked' their father. And the father who is staring at their child, eyes full of amusement and love at their beautiful giggling child who is doing a horrible job at pretending.

But tonight, I made it a point to spend at least 10 minutes with God. Turned into two hours, and I couldn't be more happy about that. Something in my gut was telling me to just spend five minutes of quiet time with God. Five minutes of absolute silence. So that's what I did. Best 7 minutes of my life. Yes I said seven. I closed my eyes and could hear the car driving by outside. No music. No tv. Nothing. And I sat and waited for God to speak to me. Next thing I know I'm hysterically crying, whispering I love you too I love you too and I literally felt like someone was hugging me. When I opened my eyes, it was seven minutes later and I was breathless.

I had another 'gut' feeling to just randomly open up the bible. This is what I open up to.
1 A Call To Return To The LORD.
In November* of the second year of King Darius's reign, the LORD gave this message to the prophet Zechariah son of Berekiah and grandson of Iddo:
"I the LORD was very angry with your ancestors. Therefore I say to the people, 'This is what the LORD of Heaven's Armies says: Return to me and I will return to you, says the LORD of Heaven's Armies.' Don't be like your ancestors who will not listen or pay attention when the earlier prophet said to them,'This is what the LORD of Heaven's Armies says: Turn from your evil ways, and stop all of your evil practices.' Where are your ancestors now? They and the prophets are long dead. But everything I said through my servants the prophets happened to your ancestors, just as I said. As a result, they repented and said 'We have received what we deserved from the LORD of Heaven's Armies. He has done what he said he would do.'" Zechariah 1;1-7
*God has a sense of humor doesn't he? xD

In the silence and in this scripture this is what God was telling me. "Karina, I love you. Your past evils that you have committed, don't you see that they mean nothing to me anymore? Don't you see that I love you? Please, return to me, and I will return to you. This distance you feel between us isn't because you are busy, it is because you don't want to spend time with me. Turn from your ways, they can't give you what I can, they will only lead you to your death. Return to me and live."

If God is begging for your time, please, give it to him. He only asked me for 5 minutes and it was life changing. Take time from your day and sit with him, I promise that you won't regret it.

Day 9 - God Centered

So today's lesson is about being God centered or being self centered. No surprise when I found myself to be self centered. God has a sense of humor, honestly. This morning I was pouting and I was really upset because I didn't look the way I wanted to. I 'never' really look the way I want to, I know I shouldn't but I have this problem with hating myself. Yeah, I have really bad self image and self loathing issues. They are gradually getting better but it's a work in progress. There is a fine line between vanity and self loathing. This lesson really made that statement true. There is either self-centered, or God-centered, there is no in between. Obviously the whole working for the world thing hasn't made me happier, a self-centered life leads to what? This? What I already have? Does it lead to this mindset that I am nothing and I am worth nothing? Because I've been self-centered my whole life and it hasn't made anything better. God-centered people like Noah, and Abraham they were genuinely happy and obedient. I don't want to be an Eve.

Day 8 - Servants 2

This two part lesson was all about Servant hood. I don't have much time to write so I will just say what I got from it overall. If I'm obedient and willing, God will work through me. And that really should be my highest goal. If ordinary people of the bible could do it, why can't I? I want to be God's servant.

Day 7 - Fellowship

Fellowship is such a wonderful thing, I would be writing about my forth lesson today but it's a two part sermon type lesson so I'll write about that tomorrow. Okay so LifeGroup today was amazing, as expected. My two LifeGroup leaders are Rachelle and Mark A yala, what do you expect? I love them both so much, they are great role models and leaders. Lindsey is another semi leader I guess I could call it, she is such a cute girl... woman...? I don't know they're all still young to me D: too young to be called women or men d: But anyway, I'm so glad that I finally have a fellowship. A real true fellowship that I can depend on. In eighth grade I felt so lonely because Imari was the only one I felt like I could talk to and the only christian friend I had. I'm still SUPER greatful for Imari, but the fact that I have so many more people to talk to God about, people that I can trust and understand, is just one of the greatest feeling in the world. I'm so lucky to have them all, I'm also very glad they find me amusing and not scary d: Thank God.